The Legacy: Part 8

Ashlyn: "Your milk. My eggs. Whaddya say?"

So I have a new hobby within The Sims, which is taking pictures of Bridgeport. The Lo residence is across the bridge on the suburban side, so I get a really, really nice view of the skyline. And sometimes that skyline is fantastic looking.

And speaking of things that aren't sims. I downloaded a new kitchen set and decided to renovate the vampires' kitchen. But when I went to start ripping out the cabinets, I noticed something I hadn't before...

Yes, those are three more fucking books laying around the house. That would have brought the book count total to 12, but they had to be put away in order to renovate.

It was worth it though.

Stylin'!

Now then, back to those crazy sims.

Get down with your bad, pregnant self!

I had been avoiding playing The Sims recently because I knew the inevitable had to happen. It was time for Aedin to escape the clutches of puberty and become an adult. Needless to say, I was seriously terrified that EA would turn her into some sort of monstrosity.

I took one last picture of her as a teen so that I could always remember the beauty she once had.

But it turns out I had no need to worry!

Vampire powers activate! Welcome to eternal damnation, kiddo! And the only thing that needs changing are the clothes. Awesome!

So I did the first thing I could think of and slutted her right up!

 Sexay.

And HOLY BOOBS, BATMAN! Where the hell did those come from?! I didn't give them to her!

 That's bigger than Ashlyn, I shit you not.

 Whorin' it up for the environment.

And while she was out there showing the cucumbers her cleavage, I got a notification that Cori had gained another fishing skill level. I hadn't told her to walk down to the bay, so I was a little concerned. Turns out there wasn't too much to worry about after all...

 ...except that she broke the TV while watching her fishing show, and since no one ever USES the damn thing I didn't even notice until EVERYONE who walked through got the "I hate the TV" thought bubble above their heads. THANKS CORI!

So with the TV now broken, she asked Matty to play tag with her. Too bad nobody told her vampires cheat at tag.

 Real classy, dad.

And speaking of fatherhood, Ashlyn being almost to full term isn't about to discourage their sex life.

How close to term? Let's just say this happened moments later...

And what's the family up to (besides Cori because she's at school like a good girl)?

Matty learns how to play the drums to drown out the sound of her screaming.

While Aedin tries her hardest to get Aimes to go out on a date with her now that her vagina is legal.

IN FRONT OF THE HOSPITAL NO LESS.

That's ok though because not even Ashlyn seems to be aware of her own contractions.

 Ashlyn: "This video is fucking hilarious!"

And I'm pretty sure I'm going to use this picture as my avatar somewhere.

LAWL!

Meet baby Mathis! Matty got his penis after all!

 Isn't he cute? Randomly rolled Slob and Loner. He's off to a good start already!

Aimes was being a bitch and refusing to hang out with Aedin for absolutely no reason. Chat on the phone? Sure. Come over? No. Go on a date? Nope. How about just a regular outing as friends? 

 In the end, Aedin managed to trick her into coming over by throwing a party and inviting only Aimes. Sucker!

She didn't really seem to mind though.

 Further proof that no woman can resist Matty, and that Matty can't resist durping.

 Aedin: "I'm sorry I tricked you into coming over, but you were being a stubborn bitch."

 Aimes: "I guess I figured you would grow out of this whole 'bi-curious' phase and forget about me."

Aedin: "Oh, Aimes..."

 Aedin: "You're retarded."

AND THEN THIS HAPPENED!

 She said yes. DUH!

And then it was time for Aedin to learn about her parents' favorite pastime. But it really didn't work out the way they hoped.

 Wtf, mom?! Put the kid in the crib later!

Get out, creeper!

And then she got this really weird knowing look as she was leaving.

Get out, pervert!

Time for teh sex? NOPE! She came back.

The fuck?

Ashlyn: "Dude! Purple! What's up with that?"

Aedin gave up and went downstairs to chat with Cori.

Aedin: "Afterbirth can also be used as fertilizer, but I think mom already threw hers out."
Cori: "Why are your massive boobs hanging out?"

Then Matty decided to show his joy at having a son by glitching out...again.

I don't know about you guys, but I totally jam my hand through a coffee mug before feeding infants. That's just common sense.

Shortly after I removed the mug from Matty's hand, some seriously creepy autonomous actions started going on.

 Not the flirting, of course. But notice the creeper in the background...

Aaaand there she is.

Ashlyn: "You girls talking about vaginas? I have a vagina."

And then she just stared at them as they flirted with each other.

And I mean she REALLY FUCKING STARED AT THEM!

Beyond creepy!

 So I don't really know what I'm going to do about this. Part of me says I should just make her go do something else. But then the other part of me is wondering if all this autonomous obsession with Aimes means I should have Ashlyn hit on her and see what kind of weird shit drama I can get out of that. I dunno. I guess I'll just have to wait and see just how disturbed and perverted I am.

The Legacy: Part 7

Ashlyn: "I'm feeling a little dirty. Think you could help me with that?"

BOOK COUNT! We're up to 9, plus 4 in Matty's inventory and 2 in Aedin's.

 Seriously, guys, wtf? Put that shit away when you're done with it.

Aedin woke up feeling refreshed and ready to talk about the environment!

 Aedin: "And that's why it's important to use bug shit to fertilize my garden."
Cori: "Why are you naked?"

Wtglitch?

 That's actually Matty. I guess he decided to shave, cut his hair, and put on a nice outfit for hottubbing, leaving me to fix him again in CAS. Asshole.

With the kids away, the adults can play. Matty got this sweet new hot tub setup just for existing.

So they did the first thing they could think of...

...which was to break that baby in!

For like HALF A FUCKING HOUR! C'mon guys, I'm not waiting all day!

My sims know me too well. I swear to you, the moment they stopped sucking on each others tongues, they BOTH spawned a want to fuck each other. And that's why I love these guys.

Money shot? You decide.

The environment is very important to Aedin. It's being polluted, you know. And she's going to stop it, which is why she loves taking the school bus so much. But on those days when she misses the bus, she makes the appropriate sacrifices...

...and takes a limo instead. But it hurts her deep inside to know she's contributing to the collapse of the ecosystems, so that makes it okay.

And besides, at least she's finally become a successful hippy in other ways!

Random time! For the past three days this girl has been following Aedin home from school.

The reason why the only photo I have of her is of her sitting inside a taxi is that every time she arrives at their house, she immediately realizes she has somewhere else to be and leaves. Fucking townies.

Speaking of people not being able to hang out, Matty still can't get ahold of OG Matty. He went to Steve's Restaurant in hopes of having some disgusting food with him, but the only person he met was this old woman who had carried her HUGE-ASS KEYBOARD all the way to Steve's just to make a couple bucks in tips.

She probably kept it in her purse. Or her vag. Anyway.

Matty was alone, depressed, and mildly heartburn'd, so he spilled his sorrows to the bartender.

 Sorrow. You're doing it wrong.

Needless to say, the bartender wasn't impressed.

Later that night...

What the fuck, why is this happening again?!

And that's when it hit me.

 HOLY SHIT GUYS! IT WAS BALGOROTH ALL ALONG!

So now that Ashlyn's finally showing, she and Matty have rolled baby-making wants. Funny thing is, they each want the baby to be a different sex. So we're taking bets on who gets some happiness points on this one.

 Matty: "I think I hear a penis!"

 Matty: "Yep, I definitely feel a penis!"

We'll see how that turns out for him.

It was around this time that I got a notification that Cori's curfew was about to go in effect. And that's when I realized I didn't know where the little shit was.

 Fishing in the wrong spot, I think. All she managed to catch this time was sea sludge. At least it makes for some outstanding fertilizer.

And where are the parents?

PREGNANT DANCE PARTY!

And Matty's high again.

Or maybe he's just derping.