Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Legacy: Part 7

Ashlyn: "I'm feeling a little dirty. Think you could help me with that?"

BOOK COUNT! We're up to 9, plus 4 in Matty's inventory and 2 in Aedin's.
 Seriously, guys, wtf? Put that shit away when you're done with it.

Aedin woke up feeling refreshed and ready to talk about the environment!
 Aedin: "And that's why it's important to use bug shit to fertilize my garden."
Cori: "Why are you naked?"

 That's actually Matty. I guess he decided to shave, cut his hair, and put on a nice outfit for hottubbing, leaving me to fix him again in CAS. Asshole.

With the kids away, the adults can play. Matty got this sweet new hot tub setup just for existing.

So they did the first thing they could think of...
...which was to break that baby in!

For like HALF A FUCKING HOUR! C'mon guys, I'm not waiting all day!

My sims know me too well. I swear to you, the moment they stopped sucking on each others tongues, they BOTH spawned a want to fuck each other. And that's why I love these guys.
Money shot? You decide.

The environment is very important to Aedin. It's being polluted, you know. And she's going to stop it, which is why she loves taking the school bus so much. But on those days when she misses the bus, she makes the appropriate sacrifices...
...and takes a limo instead. But it hurts her deep inside to know she's contributing to the collapse of the ecosystems, so that makes it okay.

And besides, at least she's finally become a successful hippy in other ways!
Random time! For the past three days this girl has been following Aedin home from school.
The reason why the only photo I have of her is of her sitting inside a taxi is that every time she arrives at their house, she immediately realizes she has somewhere else to be and leaves. Fucking townies.

Speaking of people not being able to hang out, Matty still can't get ahold of OG Matty. He went to Steve's Restaurant in hopes of having some disgusting food with him, but the only person he met was this old woman who had carried her HUGE-ASS KEYBOARD all the way to Steve's just to make a couple bucks in tips.
She probably kept it in her purse. Or her vag. Anyway.

Matty was alone, depressed, and mildly heartburn'd, so he spilled his sorrows to the bartender.
 Sorrow. You're doing it wrong.

Needless to say, the bartender wasn't impressed.

Later that night...

What the fuck, why is this happening again?!

And that's when it hit me.

So now that Ashlyn's finally showing, she and Matty have rolled baby-making wants. Funny thing is, they each want the baby to be a different sex. So we're taking bets on who gets some happiness points on this one.
 Matty: "I think I hear a penis!"

 Matty: "Yep, I definitely feel a penis!"

We'll see how that turns out for him.

It was around this time that I got a notification that Cori's curfew was about to go in effect. And that's when I realized I didn't know where the little shit was.
 Fishing in the wrong spot, I think. All she managed to catch this time was sea sludge. At least it makes for some outstanding fertilizer.

And where are the parents?


And Matty's high again.
Or maybe he's just derping.

The Legacy: Part 6

Damn, girl, getting a little ahead of yourself, don't you think?

Fortunately Aimes agrees and opts to say good night.

Ashlyn and Matty, on the other hand...
Ashlyn: "Got wood?"

Matty: "You know it!"

Cori randomly rolled an interest in fishing when she became a child, which she happens to mention to Aedin, who immediately begins praising her for her interest in local food sources.

So Cori heads down to the bay to try her luck at fishing with a pole that is at least three times too big for her to be using.

While Aedin becomes completely enthralled with beetles.
Aedin: "I will name it Glitterfly, and it will live in my garden!"

Speaking of gardens, can't you use fish carcasses to fertilize your plants? You should probably do some fishing yourself.
 Too bad she sucks at it.

Cori, on the other hand...

And again.
Aedin: "How the fuck is she doing that?!"

At the end of the fishing trip it was Cori-5, Aedin-0. Cori put one of her new fishy friends into a fancy bowl and named it Balgoroth the God King.

And then something amazing happened...
SOMEONE TURNED ON THE TV. This is something unheard of in the Lo household, which is evident with all the books always lying around. Suffice it to say, I was shocked enough to actually notice and take a picture of it.

Meanwhile, Aedin tended her garden in her nightie.
 The girl is just trying to incite pedophilia, I swear.

Something pretty random happened after that. I noticed the mailman pull up in a taxi, which was weird. But even weirder was that he didn't drop off the mail. I realized I'd never actually gotten any mail, and sent Aedin out to check it. Turns out they can't get any mail because the garbage can is in the way of the mailbox.
 Well, I'm not the one who put it that way, and I'm certainly not about to fix it! Free utilities forever!

Matty got a call from OG Matty to go hang out, so he agreed.

But OG Matty called up to cancel the moment he got there because he was too retarded to know his own schedule. Matty was bummed, but a stiff drink and the bartender's tits cheered him right up.
Matty: "I don't know what a Bad Cheerleader is, but I'd like to find out."

Some people might think "that's horrible! he has a pregnant wife at home!" But Matty couldn't cheat on Ashlyn if he was paid to. He took his newly achieved boner back to her.
 Gross, mom and dad. Gross.

Cori is not amused. 

So they got a room. Ashlyn's back was hurting pretty bad from the pregnancy and all the hard fucking, so she went out to the spa in her maternity finest.
I'm digging the shirt pattern. 

Unfortunately she derped when she should have hurped and ended up at the gym, and guess who she ran into!
Ashlyn: "At least take her as a child bride before you get to licking, please?"
Aimes: "Holy shit, a celebrity is talking to me!"

The Legacy: Part 5

Matty's painting career has really been taking off ever since he stopped sucking.

He even got 300 bucks for something he could finger paint in his underwear.

But he figured he could make an even bigger profit if he tried to rip off Thomas Kinkade. Too bad his artistic hipster obscurity keeps him from getting the mood right.
Oh well!

Feeling the fresh sting of rejection, Aedin blames her romantic fumble on the rank burrito she had eaten, and finally decides to stop talking about going green and actually swear off all corporate consumerism by growing her own 100% organic produce, completely forgetting that she is a vampire.
 Also completely forgetting that the only seeds she has are from wine grapes from France. Growing co-op, ho!

She's so anti-establishment that even a wandering homeless guy can't grasp the depth of her rebellion.

But what's this now?!
Aimes: "I've been reading up on on statutory rape laws, and since I can't actually penetrate you there should be no issue with me hanging out with you."

Aedin: "I now understand that you were trying to show me the oppression of corporate consumerism by rejecting my advances and then running away."
Aimes: "Yeeaaaah...."
Aedin: "So can you love me now?"

 Aedin: "Please! I'll worship every inch of you!"

 Aimes: "I'm not one to judge, but wouldn't you rather have something with balls on it?"

Aedin: "No."